It is true that life is not easy, there are disasters and heart ache, there
is suffering and there is injustice. How a person sees these commonalities
of being human and the human experience, can and does shape all of us.
My (Matthew's) life was no different than anyone else in this respect. I
went through traumas and abuses that shaped my way of thinking about myself
and about the world, about God and about those that claimed to know and
follow Him. There was a time when I didn't believe that He existed, or, if
He did exist truly He was a twisted and sick being for allowing so much
destruction and agony to befall the human race, which He was supposed to
have created out of love.
I had to go through the process of letting go, rejecting what I was
raised to believe about who God was, it was something I made a conscious
decision to do. I had lost my faith in who God was because I did experience
major amounts of mental trauma and abuse. These abuses lead me to believe
things about myself that I could not shake, I thought I was really a
terrible and worthless person deep down in my heart.
At the end of my own attempt to clime out of the hole my life was in I
came to a decision to stick the tip of my little toe back into the Christian
Church environment. Slowly my heart was softened to what Jesus had done for
me on the cross. I was very skeptical and for many years continued to
struggle with my mind and old patterns of thinking and behavior. As I began
to heal and as I continued to educate myself as to what had actually
happened TO me the walls began to come down and I began to see the diamond
that had been berried in the deep crevasses of a dark and hopeless mine. My
process continued on and on and because a great desire to live and thrive
had been restored by God in my heart, healing was continuous and powerful.
After many tears and much humility God has blessed me with a beautiful
wife and two amazing daughters, blessings I NEVER thought would be part of
my life's experience. I can not say enough about how wonderful they are and
just how blessed I am to have them in my life, to care for them, to protect
and be responsible for them. My world is one of amazement and awe regarding
the healing power of Jesus Christ.
Now as God has given both Ana and I a very specific assignment in our
lives, coupled with our own personal walk with God and family, I know I have
been raised up for a purpose, for such a time as this.
Enjoy this rather archaic looking site, I hope that the content
supersedes the aesthetics.
God bless you all,
Matthew
Battle©
